Earlier this week I was casted as a “Special Audience Participant” on the Jeff Probst Show. Meaning that I ask a scripted question from the audience during the show.
(For those of you that think everything you see on “reality TV” is not scripted, get a clue already! It is! And if it’s not, it is still staged and there is a producer behind the scenes making “suggestions” on what to do in order to make it good TV.)
I had pretty good time on the show, it was very fun and interesting, but I was a little annoyed on the question the producer had me ask. I spoke to the producer prior to the show and she asked me a lot of questions about my dating life and what it’s like dating and being a single mother. She asked me “When do you tell a guy you’re dating that you have a kid.” I told it’s the very first thing that comes out of my mouth. 9 out of 10 times the guy knows before he even asks me out on a date. So I was a little confused to why she had me ask that exact question on the show.
There is a segment on the show called “Guys on the Couch” where two regular guys (actors, lol) come up from the audience and sit on the couch next to Jeff. Women from the audience (special audience participants) stand up and ask the guys a question about guys and their opinions and yadi-yadi-yada. One lady asked, “Why do guys have too much pride to ask for directions when they get lost.” Then there was my question that I was told to say as so, “I am a single mom and it makes it hard to date, when is the appropriate time to tell a guy I’m dating that I have a kid.” I felt like an idiot asking a question I already knew the answer to. For they all gave me advice saying things like, “Don’t be ashamed of having a kid.” “Tell them right away because they may not be ready to date someone with a kid.” and continued to say uplifting things as if I needed the advice and to feel better about myself. I did not like the way it portrayed me as a woman and a mother at all and, not to mention, on national television.
After the show was over, I had a few people approach me with the, “You know…some people just don’t understand what it’s like as a single parent” and blah blah. I was getting really annoyed but I know they were all saying it out of love and to help someone they thought needed it. As I was leaving the studios, I thought to myself, even though I knew the answer to that question, there are women out there that don’t. There are women out there that do keep their children a secret out of fear that a man may not be interested in them.
I felt that the experience was humbling, because their maybe someone out there that is too ashamed to ask such a question and they may stumble open The Jeff Probst show at that precise moment and receive great advice without feeling embarrassed for having to ask it. I proudly take the fall, nationally, for you ladies.
You may not be one of those parents that talks about your kid non-stop, and it’s true that people without kids get annoyed when parents only talk about their kids. But the truth is they don’t understand what it’s like to have something so precious be the center of their world. So screw them! Be open, very open when it comes to dating. You don’t want to be with someone who can’t accept a child in their life, because YOU ARE A PACKAGED DEAL. And yeah you maybe “just dating” or “just getting to know someone,” but what is your reason behind that? To find a man to be in your life and your child’s life. He has to have your best interest at heart, and your best interest is your child. Your child should be his HEART!
If you meet someone who doesn’t like kids or is not interested in dating someone who has a kid, then do them and yourself a favor and RUN in the other direction. I mean….unless your dating just to date, or get some free dinners, but that defeats the whole purpose of dating….doesn’t it? I would be lying tho, If I said I didn’t like free dinners.
Choose who you date wisely baby mommas and don’t settle for no sucka!
Stay sucka free,